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I KNOW. If I could have gotten my dream body at the snap of my fingers, I would have.
The reality is that when I was losing 17 lbs, there were tears, struggles, confusing days, & of course times where I wanted to say “screw it”, and give up.
It also took about 6 months… and guess what?
The journey hasn’t stopped. Once you reach a healthy weight, you also have to work to maintain that healthy lifestyle.
But here’s the good news. If you accept that losing weight is a long game, you do it right.
This means in the future, you spend more of your energy maintaining & enjoying your new healthy lifestyle, not being confused on why you’re not seeing results.
If you’re trying to lose weight, I figured I’d share some of my most effective lessons I learned along the way (and also learned from the thousands of women I’ve helped to love their bodies and stop feeling stuck):
Don’t buy into the sh*tty diet culture telling you it’s normal to see real results right away. Healthy weight loss is 1-2 lbs per week. When you factor this in with around 3-4 weeks of wiggle room to mess up and take your time, you can make a much more accurate estimate of what your progress can look like.
Your weight goes up and down no matter what the number on the scale is.
I had a “goal weight” for a long time and once I hit it, I thought I’d never see a higher number again. Truth is, my weight fluctuates allllll the time. I had weeks where I didn’t lose a pound, I had weeks where I lost 3-4, I gained 3-4, I had DAYS where I’d see the number change based on what I ate, drank, and did. I also have coached thousands of people and saw THEIR weight loss graphs. All of the successful ones were full of bumps – it’s the downward pattern over time that matters. The people who let bumps and fluctuations throw them off quit and never saw results. Remember, it’s how you look and feel over time that matters more than the number.
If you’re not building a lifestyle out of it, WYD?
If you make ANY change to your eating, fitness, or routine, you’d better be willing to fall in love with it for life. It’s a waste of your time to try a new “plan” and eat foods you hate for quick results, just to go right back to the lifestyle you had before. You get to be creative and enjoy it if you focus on what makes you feel good.
Don’t compare your journey to someone else’s.
I love getting inspiration from other people, but every time I compared myself a little too much, I stopped feeling good in my journey. I actually became 1000X more confident just by deciding to focus on myself and what made me feel best. Beating myself up for not having someone else’s routine or not looking like someone else was only holding me back.
Eating Right > Fitness
Before the fitness lovers jump down my throat, hear me out. I’ve seen way too many poor girls work up a storm in the gym and not see a hint of progress if they haven’t improved their eating as well. And trust me, I was there too. I used to think some wild things about fitness: that I could “work off” something unhealthy, that I could “make up for it in the gym”, that I could burn x amount of calories and eat whatever I wanted. This was a great example of using rewards and punishments with food and fitness and it was not a healthy pattern. Instead, what I learned to do is make my healthy EATING come first and surprise… my time working out was put to WAY better use. I saw results, I hit my goals, I was actually energized enough to work out. This small shift has also worked for the girls I help. If you’re not sure where to start but are serious about making small, REAL changes to how you eat (without giving up the good stuff), use my step-by-step process to do it in a way that will last.
SO here’s the thing: losing weight can be a long game, but when you do it in a healthy way with a healthy mindset, your results lasting is the REAL long game.
Have a killer weekend & tell me what you’d LOVE to see next on here…. Recipes or motivation? You LMK.
XO – Lupe
Ummmm WAIT. Are you on the waitlist for the Eating for Abs Meal Plan yet? Think no calorie counting, no restriction, ALL real food that will help you beat bloating, see changes in excess stomach weight, and actually stay full so you can love how you look and feel. Join here to be first to know when it’s released.
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Here’s the thing: most people think losing weight will bring them confidence and make them feel good about themselves.
Sure it can, but what happens when someone reaches their goal weight and still feels terrible?
They didn’t practice confidence FIRST.
I said it: confidence is a practice, not an end goal.
Most people have this backwards, they’re waiting for the next 10 lbs down, the next outfit, for the boy to like them.
But you and I know the deal. When confidence comes first, the body comes, the boy comes, the outfits look good, the job happens, the good FEELINGS about yourself come.
I didn’t get ANYTHING I wanted from life until I flipped the switch and stopped waiting for that self-esteem to come. ( + we DIVE into this right here: flipping the switch for a good mindset)
What will make me feel like I’m killing it?
Sometimes it’s ordering champagne on a random Tuesday. Sometimes it’s eating a salad for lunch because that’s what makes me feel confident. Sometimes it’s eating waffle fries cause they’re good for the soul. Running makes me feel like I did something hard that day. Sometimes it’s dressing differently than normal because I love how an outfit looks.
Surround yourself with winners.
If you let insecure people surround you all the time, their thoughts become yours. The friends who constantly put down how they look, the lazies, the people who aren’t ambitious, the people who eat like garbage but then spend the day talking about how “bad” they were, the people who don’t make YOU feel good. Their thoughts become yours.
Think about the winners you have access to – the people who carry themselves the way YOU want to. How do they talk about themselves? How do they eat? How do they indulge? What can you learn? PS: the people we admire have qualities WE ALREADY HAVE… you just have to act like it.
Noticing those people who are winning at life (confidence, great self-esteem, generous, happy) was a huge step for me. Some are in my family, some are my best friends, mentors, boyfriend, and my clients. Spend MORE time with them.
Think about that girl you WANT to become, the one with all the confidence… and then break down what she does in a day.
Don’t say “oh yeah, she eats healthy and works out and looks pretty and blah blah blah.”
Get specific. What are her favorite outfits? ONLY wear those. What does she like eating for breakfast? Eat that. How does she do her makeup? Go for it. How does she talk to people? Speak it. What does she like to do when life sucks? Let yourself do that.
My point is, being the person you want to be takes practice. You don’t just become that girl, you practice it every day and you get there every time.
So carry yourself like a boss this week and don’t worry about the rest. Nobody has it together because it’s all practice.
If you’re fired up and ready for the next step, you’ll probably want to eat like a boss too.
Eat my favorite meals with me this week and add whatever you want to them – it’s your life and I’m just here to help you feel good.
XO – Lupe
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It’s about damn time.
Idk if you’re a scatter-brained person like me, but when I wake up on a Monday, I either feel SO lazy and can’t drag myself out of bed… OR, I feel the stress rush through my body and start thinking of allll the sh*t I have to do that day.
Oh, & that’s just work – there’s still working out, eating well, checking in on people I love, time for myself, you know the deal.
BUT… I’m dramatic, and chances are you might be, too.
I said it! We’re dramatic about Mondays because the reality is that we’ve GOT it, we just need to chill out and take it one step at a time.
I’ve made a few moves to get sh*t done on Mondays. Not just get sh*t done, but do it in a GREAT mood and feel my best along the way.
So why not spill the deets for my H&H fam?
Long story short, if I’m doing these things on Monday, I’ll call it a good one. Go easy on yourself & get sh*t done the smart way:
The to-do list only matters if you DO it.
Over-achievers love a good to-do list. Over-achievers can also look at that list and get overwhelmed, procrastinate, NOT do half of it, and then beat themselves up after. Guiltyyyyy.
SO, take that to-do list and prioritize it. Here’s how I break mine down: I get my top 3 things done before answering any messages, checking emails, or stopping for a work break. Those are the essentials. THEN, I’m motivated from getting my top items done, which helps me focus better later with less overwhelm.
Batch your TIME.
You’ve heard hundreds of people say this, but have you started yet? Time batching takes practice. You don’t have to have your whole schedule down to the minutes, I don’t.
You start with an hour here and there. This hour is ONLY for answering emails and then I don’t touch them. You batch your workouts. During these 20 minutes, my phone’s away and I’m sweating. You set an hour aside ONLY for calling your family bc work/life balance. After dinner, I’m not watching TV until I catch up with ___.
Eat for energy.
Narrate your day the right way.
You know the voice in your head that’s your own personal narrator? They can be hard on you sometimes. You don’t need to be a machine all day, AND you don’t need to beat yourself up if you don’t make it to the workout, or if you didn’t get alllll your sh*t done. Better to be ambitious, right?
Changing the way I talk to myself is one of the biggest changes I’ve made to the way I start my week and go through it. Focusing on the wins, focusing on what I DID do well, focusing on enjoying the day just as hard as I’m working.
Here’s the thing: my list for a killer Monday isn’t long, and yours doesn’t need to be.
If you’re being easy on yourself when your goals are ambitious, if you’re practicing balance, if you’re doing as much as you can to feel good, you’re going to be juuuuuuuust fine.
Enjoy your Monday and if you need more:
XO – Lupe
Anxiety sucks, there’s no question about it. We can’t always control what causes it or how it affects us, but we CAN take small actions to help us be proactive + take care of ourselves.
I’m a naturally extremely anxious person, but I’ve also built my lifestyle around being PROACTIVE and doing what I can to be happy, calm, and positive.
My best tips I’ve learned so far are right here for when I need to quiet the noise in my head:
Anxiety (most of the time) can come from either worrying about the future OR ruminating about something that’s already happened. Maybe it’s feeling like you’re not good enough, you weren’t good enough, you won’t BE good enough. Maybe it’s just a feeling.
Maybe something is happening to you or around you. Whatever it is, one thing you’re always in control of is grounding yourself: all that means is you can re-connect to the present moment and remember that you’re OK right now.
For me, I’ll either put my hand on my heart which feels calming to me, I’ll breathe deeply for a minute, or I’ll do sensory grounding. That means I’ll look around and say to myself, I’m in my apartment. I’m healthy right now. Everyone around me is okay, everything is paid for, the weather is great outside. Basically, noticing things I KNOW are true in the moment so that I can ground and feel like in the moment, I’m actually ok.
Let it out.
Sometimes ya need to vent. Or let it out. There’s nothing wrong with asking someone if you can just vent for a few, or writing down what’s bothering you. Sometimes letting it out means letting the energy out, like going for a run or a walk.
One thing that helps me alll the time is to write down every last thing that’s bothering me. There’s something about seeing it all on paper that helps me separate from it and THEN go down the list and see where I can make a real change.
Most of you are reading this blog because you care about being healthy & improving your relationship with food. Sometimes we turn to food when we’re emotional or want to mask our emotions, so I’ll leave this resource here if you struggle with that. I designed prompts to help you work through emotional cravings or feeling like you want to mask emotions with food.
Notice your self-talk.
The way you talk to yourself MATTERS. You’re your own narrator through life, right? The voice in your head can be super negative sometimes, but ANYONE can practice making the positive part a little bit stronger every day.
We’re ALL hard on ourselves sometimes, but there are some easy ways to notice that negative self-talk and turn it around in a realistic way. Nobody breaks this down better than my friend Lauren Frontiera on our episode about mental health + changing the way you talk to yourself. I could write a book on this, but just listen. I promise.
Change your environment.
This one can be as serious or as easy as YOU want it to be. When you’re anxious, changing your environment can give you that sense of control back (and anxiety can sometimes come from feeling OUT of control).
It could be cleaning your room. It could be putting on noise cancelling headphones, taking the day off, and sleeping to recharge.
You could give yourself a Life Detox (full breakdown here), you could spend extra time with high energy people to re-inspire you, you could switch something around in the way you eat in order to feel better.
Eat something good.
Eating for good mental health is one of the most underrated things you can do for yourself. Changing how I ate has done wonders for my mental health and I couldn’t be happier that I committed to just trying to eat what made me feel good.
Something I look forward to at least 5 days a week is the salad I eat every day. Something about it boosts my mood and makes me feel REALLY good inside and out for hours on end. I don’t eat this because I’m trying to lose weight, I eat it because I feel incredible afterwards and food should do that for you.
When I created the H&H Recipe Ebook, I specifically designed the morning meals to include essential nutrients for good mental health (like omega-3’s), a positive mood (like magnesium), and delicious but CLEAN ingredients so that you start your day off with a burst of good energy. I still eat these daily, check them out.
Listen to something inspiring.
This could be music, this could be a podcast, this could be an audiobook, whatever. I find that if you specifically have someone else’s voice in your head, it helps you take a step back and get out of your own for a bit. I’ve been loving podcasts (I think it’s because I started mine and I want to get better), but listening to podcasts while walking has actually helped me almost double my daily steps per day.
I’m bored less, and it’s a great way to calm down when I’m anxious. For a health pep talk to get you into a better mood and to be less hard on yourself, I recommend this episode.
Ask for help.
There’s nothing better to do for yourself than to ask someone qualified or close to you for help. Learning to ask for help when you’re anxious or stressed is key and it’s important to tell the person you’re asking exactly what you need.
Sometimes you can ask the person to hear you vent. Sometimes you can ask them what you should do, or if they can do something to help you. Sometimes it gets to a point where you need to talk to a therapist, which is great because you’re choosing to let somebody who’s trained to help you, help you.
Whatever works for you, it’s better to ask for help than wonder if you’re in your thoughts alone.
Check out natural remedies.
Natural remedies for anxiety aren’t always effective or better for you than medication and/or therapy depending on the person, but I’m lucky enough to have found some that either help me PREVENT anxiety, or help me handle it better.
Some natural remedies are simple & you can add them to your environment. I love using an oil diffuser to get essential oils all over the house and room. My favorite scent EVER is a mix called Stress Away because it literally makes me feel happy when I smell it. I go through it way too quickly because I’d love to have it diffusing in my room and on my wrists to smell when I need it. Lavender is the most widely-known anti-stress scent when it comes to essential oils.
Green tea is also a great way to relax your mind and system. People are asking me about CBD oils/supplements as well, but I haven’t tried them yet. From what I’ve researched, I’m all about it if the brand is right: ask your doctor, make sure the dosage is right for you, and start small because everyone reacts to things differently. I’ll keep you guys posted when I try because it’s on the list.
The thing I AM trying right now is called Ashwagandha. Someone close to me saw amaaaazing results from using these in a high stress lifestyle and after seeing the change, I wanted to try for myself. I can’t officially recommend because I just started, but so far so good. It feels like a subtle difference in your body – you relax, you still might think anxious thoughts, but your body doesn’t take those thoughts and run. It just alleviates my body’s response to stress and makes my mood happier and stable. All natural ingredients, too. If you want to hear more after I’ve tried these longer, LMK.
Your body WANTS to release endorphins. Your mood elevates, your heart is super active, your brain activates on a higher level which improves your mood, logic, and function. All of these things are essential to your mental health. Your brain activity elevates when you stretch if that’s all you have time for, what matters is that you make the effort to do something good for your body.
So you’re not alone, lil angels.
I learn so much from you so I neeeed to know what I’m missing here. Have an anxiety hack I don’t know about? LMK below. I hope these help you out.
XO – Lupe
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